The past couple weeks have been quite drizzly, blustery, and chilly. I find that time seems to be passing more quickly and naturally now – I’ve stopped counting the passing weekends, and stopped feeling panicky about the unknown future. The residence card should be in the works as we speak, and I’ve got a babysitting job lined up for the fall. I’ve even managed to pick up a little side job for a couple months, which will fund both my student loan payments due in June, as well as my summertime-BFF-Spain trip planned for August. I am far from having everything figured out, but who ever really does?
The other day, I revisited my old neighbourhood. Just walking down that familiar street brought memories that had entirely faded from my brain, rushing back with clarity. I remembered small, impossible details like what my friend ordered that time we ate at the café downstairs, the happy conversation I had with the nearby florist, discussing the contents of paté with my Mother when she visited, shopping for a tiny christmas tree with my best friend, the nearby church I had visited when I was at my lowest… I could go on for days.
But instead of making me happy, these memories just made me sad. I spent the rest of the day mulling over why sadness was my first reaction, and I still haven’t quite figured it out.
BuzzFeed was right – 23 IS the worst year of your 20s. We all know it because we hear it all the time – life after college is tough. It’s the great unknown, the first real step into making your own life. Yes, leaving home for college at the fresh young age of 18 is a major step, but in many ways, your activities for the next four to five years are largely determined by parents and degree programs. It’s after college, though, when stepping stones become nonexistent, and there isn’t any clear goal in sight.
Maybe if you chose nursing or some other pragmatic major, things make a little more sense for you, and finding a job just happens naturally. But for those of us who choose majors in the liberal arts, the path seems much more obscured.