Visual Diary: Early Summer Blur

It’s been a long time since my last Visual Diary, so I think it’s time for an update. These type of posts really help me to understand my current state of mind and get a new perspective on the state of my life. Sometimes it’s easy to become wrapped up in whatever thoughts or worries you have at the moment, and you forget that you’re actually living a pretty decent life.

The past couple months I’ve been preoccupied with a babysitting job that left me feeling tired and sometimes stressed out every weekend. I tried to get out and do things, which certainly helped my mood, but didn’t yield very much good blog content.  Time has almost felt non-existent, like a blur, like I was only half-awake through May and June.  Leaving my last day of baby-sitting, I almost felt like a kid leaving school for summer vacation again, except that it was cold and rainy that day. Is it summer yet??

I did manage, however, to spend some time with a couple California friends who were travelling through Paris.  I also managed to share some lovely meals out at restaurants, sprawl out in the grass under the sun with my sweetheart, explore the gardens and smaller palaces of Versailles, and have a few walkabouts through Paris.  It hasn’t been the most exciting couple months, but I really needed a break in the monotony of unemployment I was wallowing in before.

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Places I once knew

The other day, I revisited my old neighbourhood. Just walking down that familiar street brought memories that had entirely faded from my brain, rushing back with clarity. I remembered small, impossible details like what my friend ordered that time we ate at the café downstairs, the happy conversation I had with the nearby florist, discussing the contents of paté with my Mother when she visited, shopping for a tiny christmas tree with my best friend, the nearby church I had visited when I was at my lowest… I could go on for days.

But instead of making me happy, these memories just made me sad. I spent the rest of the day mulling over why sadness was my first reaction, and I still haven’t quite figured it out.

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